It’s December 31st, the end of the year- what better time to reflect on our lives!? This year, at least for me, flew by faster than the year before. I think we get so caught up in our fast-paced lives that we forget to actually live, something I am shamefully guilty of doing. But I’ve learned something: Life, or more precisely, the moment, is more substantial when I am aware. I like to call it “being grounded.” I’ve met people who ground themselves through creative outlets, others, by taking vacations and some do it by simply pursuing hobbies. Whatever it may be, I think it is paramount to be grounded. Otherwise, we’re simply existing. Existing in a mind-numbing, default setting. This notion of a default setting is perfectly explained by David Foster Wallace, a prolific American writer, professor, and philosopher. In 2005, Wallace gave one of the most exceptional speeches I have ever heard titled “This is Water.” He begins the speech with a curious parable about two fish swimming along until an older fish says to them: “Morning, fellas. How’s the water?” and the two fish reply: “What the hell is water?” For the fish, water is so obvious, they don’t recognize it, or at least fail to see its importance, just as we may forget to see the value of what is really important to us in life, as both individuals and as a collective.
Wallace offers for us to take an empathetic approach to life, and explains how our “default” perspective throughout our everyday lives barriers our empathy and sense of meaning. He urges us to consciously choose to think differently about the most banal, frustrating moments we all experience; and rather than react with anger and frustration, why not respond with appreciation and awe? I first read the essay in my freshman year of college, and it’s influence is no less impacting than when I first read it. Here are three takeaways and a powerful excerpt from the speech:
- The world does not revolve around myself and my immediate needs: “It’s the automatic way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life when I’m operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the center of the world, and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world’s priorities.”
- Don’t live life in a default setting: “If you’re automatically sure that you now what reality is, and that you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won’t consider possibilities that aren’t annoying and miserable.
- Be aware: The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over: “This is water.” “This is water.”
“… my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really about me. About MY hungriness and MY fatigues and MY desire to just get home, and it’s going to seem for all the world like everybody is just in my way. And who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are, and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line. And look at how deeply and personally unfair this is . . . if you choose to think this way in a store and on the freeway, fine. Lots of us do. Except thinking this way tends to be so easy and automatic that it doesn’t have to be a choice. it is my natural default setting . . . the thing is that, of course, there are totally different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic . . . it’s not impossible that some of these people in SUV’s have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge,heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive . . . or I can choose to force myself to consider the likelihood that everyone else in the supermarket’s checkout line is just as bored and frustrated as I am, and that some of these people probably have harder, more tedious and painful lives than I do.
I believe inter-personal connections are what give meaning to life. And at the end of the day, as cliché as it may sound, all we have is one another– that is really what is so important and meaningful. Robin Williams perfectly explains the value of these mystical concepts the human race can experience when he explains why we read and write poetry in “Dead Poets Society, one of my favorite films:
We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, ‘O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless–of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?’ Answer. That you are here–that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?
So, you exist, and it’s a new year– what will your verse be?
You can read the speech here:
Click to access DFWKenyonAddress2005.pdf
This YouTube clip is an engaging edit of the speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm95eZ1PZL0
passionfordisquisition 